by Joyce Good Henderson
Grief is not always a negative emotion. It can serve as a catalyst for growth when it is harnessed to provide the momentum to seek answers. Grieving is a living experience, and an opportunity to move from pain to growth. Any life situation involving a great emotional shock, or change can evoke the response known as grief. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, identified five stages in her work with grief:
1, Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Denial is usually a temporary response that prevents emotional overload by screening out pain. In denial, the person screens out information that is too difficult to accept, may project anger onto others, or rationalize. Withdrawal may be demonstrated in excessive sleeping, overeating, escape into work-alcoholism, abuse of drugs or alcohol. Denial often involves overwhelming fear and anxiety.
Anger can be healthy or destructive. Repression or denial of anger can lead to emotional and physical illness. Expressing anger is a healthy response to emotional pain, and makes it possible to manage fear. Anger, however, rarely exists independently. It masks fear, disappointment, hurt, frustration, desperation and rage. It may also be accompanied by self-pity and bitterness. Learning how to handle anger and channel it into constructive energy is part of learning to cope with the grieving process.
Bargaining occurs when the grieving person tries to wish away the reality of the circumstances.
Depression is anger turned inward, and sometimes includes guilt and remorse. If depression continues for a long period of time, or involves significant changes in eating or sleeping, professional help may be needed.
Other emotions can also fold into grieving, the most common being isolation. The grieving person tends to isolate himself from others and from the very situations which might be therapeutic in relieving the burden of grieving. Guild often accompanies grief as well.
Acceptance occurs when the person acknowledges the grieving process and begins to let go. Acceptance involves a conscious action focusing on what is, rather than what might have been. This doesn't lessen grief, but controls it. Giving yourself permission to experience grief in all its stages and with all its attendant emotions is the first step toward acceptance.
Learning to live from day-to-day, accepting yourself, your emotions and the process of grief as a living experience hastens acceptance.
The grieving person uses these stages to adapt psychologically and emotionally to the stress of grieving. Passage is an ongoing process. More than one stage can be experienced at one time, and the progress from stage to stage is not an orderly process. You may bounce from one stage to another quickly, and repeat stages over and over. How you handle grief depends on your previous experiences, and attitudes as well as emotional and physical strengths.
Source: http://www.helium.com
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